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Home Education

 
Why?  And just how do we do it?

I am the mum in a home-educating family, and I have been for just over 6 and a half years. My home-educating adventure began when my youngest son (now 11) was bullied (for want of a better word) in his primary school. He was so young, just 4/5 years old, and it was heartbreaking to see such a dramatic change in my child. He went from being a happy-go-lucky, confident, always smiling sort of boy, who was the first in the classroom every morning and so eager to learn - to being incredibly withdrawn, hardly talking to anyone, lacking in self-confidence and with such a sadness in his eyes. At the time he wore glasses and had an eye patch for a lazy eye treatment, and he was receiving speech therapy for speech dyspraxia - thus making him an easy target for the "bullies".

I tried talking to the teachers, and I had numerous appointments with the head mistress of the school where I tried to discuss my concerns. All had noticed a change in his personality, they mentioned how he didn't seem to be so happy and he had gone so quiet in class, but no-one would admit to there being a problem. The teachers were handing over pieces of his broken glasses to me 2, 3, sometimes 4 times a week, but not questioning how or why it was happening. It didn't make sense to me, and I was exasperated. It got to the point that my son was actually being physically sick on the way to school - enough was enough - he was only just 5 years old.

I started looking elsewhere for help. I spent hours on the internet searching for "Bullying" and "School Phobia."  Education Otherwise, which is one of the charities set up to support home-educators, kept appearing at the top of the searches.  At the time I didn't know that it was a legal option. I thought that all children had to go to school. I didn't know anyone that home-educated, and it seemed such a huge responsibility to take on. After a great deal of research (and a few more trips to the Opticians to repair broken glasses), I (with my husband) made the decision to de-register my son from school. Initially it was a temporary solution. The plan was to home-educate for a few months and re-build the confidence that my son had lost. However, it worked so well for us. It fitted in with our lifestyle, and we noticed a change in our son (for the better) within weeks. We decided to de-register our daughter (then aged 7) and teach her at home as well. Not for the same dramatic reasons as her brother, she certainly wasn't bullied, but we had a few niggles about the system that we had previously tried to ignore. Knowing that we had another option open to us, we didn't have to ignore them any longer.

Home-education works very well for us. We are a very close family unit, and I feel that the relationship I have with my children is a lot closer than it would be if the children were out at school all day. When we first started out on our home-ed lifestyle, my husband worked nights. With the children at school, they hardly ever saw their dad. Out of school, they could spend far more time with him, which has benefitted us all. I'm NOT anti-school by any stretch of the imagination. I am well aware that many children absolutely thrive in the school system, and I have always made it clear to my lot that if they ever wanted to go to school I wouldn't try to persuade them otherwise. But, school doesn't suit everyone - just as home-education wouldn't. We should be allowed, without criticism or judgement, to choose what we feel is best for our own families.

When the children first came out of school, we tried the structured, timetabled, "school at home" approach. I wanted to make sure that we fully covered everything they would be taught in school. I got upset and frustrated when our days didn't go to plan, and it wasn't long before I realised (or maybe admitted to myself) that playing at schools wasn't going to work for us. I started to relax. I did a lot of research into how children learn, different learning styles, and different ways of home-educating. I realised that we didn't have to sit at a table from 9am-3pm, reading and writing, for my children to learn things. Instead, they learn in many ways - discussions, from books, the internet, television, places we visit, people we talk to, the clubs and associations we belong to - to coin a home-ed phrase - the world is our classroom.
 

I now have 4 children. They are aged 14, 11, 7 and 4. The youngest two have never stepped foot in a school. The 7 year old is a huge reader, ravishing book after book. Her favourite author at the moment is Enid Blyton and I'm amazed at her reading ability. I've never ever sat with her and "taught" her to read. She naturally started to read as she wanted to. We don't own the reading schemes used in schools, or do worksheets explaining phonics or any other method that might be the latest "thing". My 4 year old is following suit. They have been surrounded by books (our house could be the villages second library!) We have had family reading time most days, where I will sit and read a chapter of a book aloud as the children listen - and then the children will read aloud any book of their choice if they want to. I don't force them, I find that my children learn far more if they are able to follow their own interests. This doesn't mean that I let them play on the Playstation all day, or chat to their friends on MSN for hours on end, but rather that I facilitate their learning. We discuss what projects they want to do, and I do my utmost to come up with interesting ways to study their chosen subject.

We often find ourselves the "talk of the town" when out and about. Very often we are stopped and questioned about the children not being at school - and reactions to the home-educated response are mixed. Some people are curious, asking lots of questions and being quite positive about it. Others are very negative, and tell us how they find it disgusting that we are allowed to do it, and how I'm ruining my children's future lives because of it.  Positive remarks are obviously always welcome, but I have learnt to shrug off the negative ones - just seeing how happy my children are, how close their relationships are with each other, and how well each are thriving as individuals, is enough evidence for me to know that I have chosen the right path.  I love the fact that my children are enjoying their childhood.  No pressures, no needing to conform with their peers to "fit in",  no getting frustrated with having to fit around a structured timetable of "learning".